I [heart] Davids It helps me to say these things aloud, I think.

This is the soundtrack.

Ah, Matthew Berube. Intelligent, erudite, eloquent. Definitely witty. Wonderful penmanship and wonderful taste in music. And heck, pretty dang cute and a snappy dresser, to boot. I was so enamored of him when I first met him, and was shocked when he was interested in dating me. We dated, but I don’t think it ever really counted. He was in college, I was in high school, and he was away a lot. And then it turns out I didn’t know him at all. He had some crazy life in college that I couldn’t understand. I remember that there was some girl he was in love with who raked him over the coals. He didn’t have any shred of emotion left to feel bad for having had that experience at the same time as he was supposed to be dating me. And I remember that he got fired from his job as a gravedigger. I think he thought that was the nadir of his life. I hope he was right about that.

Then, we reconnected when I was in college. He helped me do some research on Hal Hartley for a film paper. Who am I kidding, he did all the research for me. I wrote a paper and got an A minus (and fell hard for Hartley‘s movies, too). Then I sent a copy of the paper to Hartley’s studio. Hal made several notations on the paper and sent it back to me, congratulating me on a job well done. Heh. I still have that as a souvenir.

I always liked Matt, but in some ways felt he was out of my league. In other ways, I felt it was the other way around. It was like it was fated never to be.

Then he went off to Korea to teach English. I figured he would be happy there. I thought he would fit better as an ex-pat over there than a regular Joe over here. And I thought he’d find a nice Korean wife to settle down with. I hope he’s happy.

And then the other day I gave myself an assignment – to listen to all my mix tapes before finally tossing them. This was the first one I pulled out of the case. The first tape Matt made for me. I still have all his old letters (note: if you ever wrote me a letter, chances are I still have it). How can I throw this tape away?

Side A: Moist Songs
Side B: “Louder than Brahms”