Dave turned 39 on Tuesday – Happy Birthday Dave!
He seemed to enjoy the presents I got for him: 2 books on growing/caring for Bonsai trees and a double CD of They Might Be Giants called Then. Dave’s not really into celebrating birthdays so it was a low-key affair. After we ate dinner, he opened presents then went out for beers with the guys.
I would like to point out that I used some very creative wrapping skills. 
When Amy and I were at the Skate Ranch on Sunday, I got a little info about the Carolina Cruisers. They’re a group that gets together to skate. They hang out socially and I think do some social/charitable work as well.
I met King, who is the organizer, and he seemed very nice. When he was explained the group to me, he mentioned that there was “no drama” in the group. Amy and I nodded and thought, “Good, that’s a good thing, we hate drama.” I gave him my email address so I could keep in touch.
However, I received a few emails from the group today and I was a little put off by the constant references to “no drama.” Here are some examples:
From Monica, one of the Smoov Divas:
“Hello all, I had a great time! Thanks King, can’t wait for the next outing. Drama-free, fabulous fun! Monica aka THE DiaMond DiVa!”
From King:
“We are drama free. We just like to have fun and and get our skate on. Anything you want to learn, we will make every attempt to teach you. You gotta come out to the first Thursday skate jam. This Thursday! You will have a good time.”
From Willis:
“Hello, I would like to say, “welcome to a drama free skate club-Carolina Cruiser Skaters Assoc.”, from Willis Silver aka Mr.Hospitality.”
Is this some nuvo lingo that I’m not familiar with? Should I be worried that they’re so worried about drama? What’s up with this?
Then we went out for errands. We went to Best Buy and picked up SD cards for our cameras. I got a new camera in January! An HP Photosmart R725. It’s a 6.2MP teeny-tiny digital camera with a 2″ display. I love it! The best part about it is that it was free, with my HP PurchasEdge points.
Then, off to redeem ourselves, we went to Umstead and hiked the one of the foot trails. We didn’t go all the way around because Dave was so tired. When we got back home he fell asleep on the couch, still jet-lagged from his trip to Asia.
Amy and I continued to work our way through the puzzle. We cooked dinner at home (tenderloin and vegetables on the gill) and enjoyed a few bottles of nice red wine.
Saturday night we watched Little Miss Sunshine with our Movies-on-Demand option from Time Warner. Great, fun movie! Laugh-out-loud funny.
Sunday was a nice big breakfast, green eggs, turkey sausage, fruit. “Green eggs?” you might ask? Dice up some avocado and whip really well with your eggs before you cook them. Add some cumin and black pepper, tasty!
Sunday afternoon was more puzzling. We were very lazy on Sunday, and Dave took a nap that lasted a few hours. We made dinner around 7 PM (Chicken picatta with angel hair pasta and roasted asparagus with thyme) and then Amy and I took off for the Skate Ranch! Sunday night at the Skate Ranch is “Adult Skate” and I’ve been wanting to give it a try. Amy was the only one I could drag out there. š
Skating was fun, though a bit of a workout! It took some time to get my “sea legs” but eventually I did. Amy had a problem with her foot that left her in pain, so she wasn’t as gung-ho as I was, but I think she enjoyed herself nevertheless.
Watching these people skate was just amazing – so talented. There was all sorts of dancing and a little jumping going on. The couples’ skate was sexy, and the groups who were skating in formation were awesome, too.
You can watch this little video to get an idea: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZsxjbS6cXA
A number of people were wearing ‘Carolina Cruisers’ shirts. I inquired and learned that they’re a group that gets together to do social things and skate, mostly. Maybe I’ll join. Then I’ll have someone to skate with, as none of my other friends here have taken the bait. It’s fascinating to me that this little microcosm of society exists. I had no idea. Amy says that it’s called “urban exploring”, seeing what your city has to offer you in terms of recreation that you never expected.
We got home around 11 PM and then off to bed with us. Monday morning we had Waffle House-style egg sandwiches and then I deposited Amy at the airport.
All in all, it was a very relaxing and fun weekend!
After coming home, Amy and I started a puzzle and stayed up til the wee hours talking, drinking, and puzzling.
This makes day 10 of Daveās trip, my tenth day all by myself. The first few days are great, lots of free time to watch whatever I want, play whatever music I want, eat what I want, be as lazy or as productive as I want.
But by this point, I begin to sink into a bit of a funk. Being able to repeatedly listen to my musical faves does not a ray of sunshine make: Billy Bragg and Palace Music, David Bowie and The Postal Service. Neither does diving head-on into my latest TV obsession, whatever it may be (this past week has been Dead Like Me and Christopher Ecclestonās Doctor Who).
My mom and I had a really nice time together this weekend. It was so nice to be so very relaxed with her. We didnāt bicker or disagree at all. We even had some of that heart to heart conversation thatās so nice, sharing stupid secrets or hopes or dreams. I confessed how when I hear Billy Bragg sing, it make me think of Christoper Eccleston – I think I’m starting to get them confused.
We talked about anxiety (mine) and social anxiety (hers). It made me think about this funk of mine. Just because I havenāt been able to talk to Dave, it feels like I havenāt talked to anyone for days. Itās like Dave is my anchor to reality. Itās not that I havenāt spent any time with people. But something about the time I have spent with others, mostly at work, doesnāt count. It isnāt real. Why? I donāt know.
But I do know that starting at about Day 2, I got back into the habit of long conversations with myself and the cats, out loud. I watch TV or listen to lyrics in songs and Iām drawn deeply to their poignancy. I get emotionally attached to whatever players are involved, and think of them long after the sounds leave my head. I feel a sadness and touch of longing in everything I see and hear. Is this normal, I wonder, for everyone who lives alone? What about those people who live alone without pets? I canāt imagine doing this without my two furry balls of affection.
I remember quite fondly the time I lived on my own. It was a brief period, only a year or two, after I moved out from my motherās and then from my evil ex-boyfriendās, before Dave and I moved in together. I remember the freedom, the independence, the isolation. I remember loving it. What I do not remember was how out of practice I got interacting with other people, but I believe it had to have been there. It was probably a factor in the breakdown, depression and anxiety I suffered during that period, though certainly not the only one (can you say āevil ex-boyfriend?ā).
I see now that part of living on your own is learning to live with this sense of isolation, to translate it into something useful and productive. I am proud of myself for the past week. I kept the house clean every day, ate decent meals, and managed to keep from getting sotted as a potted plant every night.
What if I had to do this for a lifetime? Could I keep it up? What about my mom? Sheās pretty much in constant pain and often she feels like nothing in her life can go right. How can you actively interact with the world in a social situation when all youāre handed is crap? I am young (32) and I think I get along with people pretty well. What implications does this have for those who lack the skills or other social facilities to easily make friends? Is what Iām experiencing basic loneliness borne out of the absence of my husband, or is it something more sinister, the roots of anxiety and depression that I feel clawing at my self any time I loose control over my lifeās course?
I canāt wait for Dave to get back home.
I had a very productive Saturday! I balanced the checking and Visa accounts, filed a huge stack of paperwork (which took hours, really), mailed a few late Christmas cards, finished my laundry, washed all the sheets and remade both beds, washed all the towels, picked up some more litter, got Dave’s birthday prezzies, changed the cat litter pails, ran some errands, and got some of those shredder lubricant pages from Staples.
My mom came over on Saturday night. She added a few decorative pillows to the pillow arrangement of our bed. These go with the picture she gave me as a Christmas present – I’ll show you that in a separate post. We ordered pizza from Pizza Hut, yum, and looked through some of my scrapbooks before we watched our girlie movie, “Shall We Dance?” It was a nice night!
I also gave her her Christmas present, two pairs of “Thai fisherman’s shorts.” She loved them! I was so glad, I thought she’d love them as lounge pants. I’m sure she’s going to start wearing them out of the house next!
This morning, we had breakfast and then we worked on an art project. We painted wooden letters and affixed magnets to the backs to make a Monday through Friday to-do list on our magnetic board, which is in fact the door to our garage. I think everything turned out very well. We also made a D and a Q magnet for Dave and I. I made the bottle-cap magnets as a gift for Amy, who is arriving on Friday. 
I don’t know how it ever got to be so late in the day. Somewhere between breakfast and 5 PM we killed a bottle of champagne. š Oh, and I finished my angles puzzle, very tricky. 
So, Dave is on Day 7 of his Q1 Asia trip. He left on Sunday and flew to the Phillipines. He left Detroit at 4 PM Sunday and didn’t get to Manila until 11 AM our time Monday. He spent 2 days in the Phillipines and then flew to Taiwan. He’s in Taiwan now and flies to Tokyo on Saturday morning (that’d be Friday night for us). He will spend the weekend in Tokyo and on Monday takes the Bullet Train to north Japan for the day, then on the train back down to Tokyo on Tuesday. On Wednesday he flies to Seoul, Korea. Thursday he flies to Gwangju, Korea, then back to Seoul the same evening. On Friday he flies home from Seoul through Tokyo and Detroit. That puts him home back on Friday afternoon our time. It makes me exhausted just to think about it!
Anyway, I’ve been keeping the house cleaned and the cats happy while he’s gone. And eating my share of vegetables, too. š I can’t wait to have him back, though. 
Ah, it was like this just a few short days ago, but this morning I awoke to snow! Alas, work was not closed. But I did take my sweet time coming into the office.
You can see our bulbs poking up through the snow between the trees. They’ve already grown several inches out of the grown by the middle of January, it’s been so warm!
The roads were mostly fine, but it seemed a wise idea to be cautious. I have no idea how this happened.
The two blue Rubbermaids make up one bin (the catch bin is not shown) and the four black bins are the Worm Factory bins (pedestal and catch bin is also not shown).
Here is a little baby wormie I found.
I gave away the few quarts of castings I harvested on FreeCycle.
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